Mother’s Day Self-Care

The past week I have had multiple memories of past Mother’s Day celebrations pop up in my Facebook Memories.  I have been acutely aware of those who no longer have a mother on this earth to celebrate with, those who have not had the privilege of being a mother, those who desperately want to be mother’s and are physically unable to, and those who may not have had the ideal mother.  And yet, we all exist because we had a mother. It is one of those rare uniting things across all cultures, languages, continents.

I think about mothering in a different way.  When I was young I was told by a doctor I would probably never be able to have my own children.  This caused me to be open to adoption, foster care and more, but more importantly it helped me to look at how I could be a mother in other ways.  We mother the earth when we tend to a flower, we mother the aging when we are of service to them, we are the mother of many projects we start and develop into what we would like them to be.  In many ways, we are often the mother to ourselves, providing self-care.

For me, this is a concept I struggled with.  I don’t really liked to be taken care of, as there is some pride in being able to take care of myself.  However, there have been times when I have needed to “fill my cup”. I am sure that this is something that all mother’s struggle with at times.  We put the needs of others before our own needs,

So, this Mother’s Day we ask you to take some time for self care.  Take some moments alone to make a list of what things you need to “fill your cup”. Maybe it’s just quiet time, or a hot bath (with bubbles), or to make a list of things you need! There may be things you have neglected like your toes and you need a pedicure. Or maybe, you’ve neglected your health and you need to go ahead and pamper yourself with a massage and an appointment with the doctor you have been putting off while taking care of others.  

When you are done with your list, circle one thing you are going to do for yourself this week and do whatever you need to in order to make that happen.  At the bottom of this list make one with just 3 things…write down the 3 reasons that make you grateful to Mother in whatever way you do that. Maybe it is the 3 things you are grateful you learned from your mother, maybe it is the 3 things you appreciate about your own mothering, maybe it is the 3 reasons you are glad you are not the mother of children but of the other things in this world you have created.  Studies show if we can appreciate just 3 things each day it improves our happiness scores. You could continue this past Mother’s Day.

I’m kind of lucky that I currently have 3 children (I had 7 girls when we did foster care), and so I will share 3 things I am grateful for this Mother’s Day from my kids.  My daughter just called, “Mom, how much longer until you get home, I just need a hug from my mom.” Two weeks ago while on a vacation my youngest asked, “Mom, can you move the sun?” To this sweet girl, a mother is like the all powerful Oz and can move the sun! My oldest has recently left the nest and tried living alone and without using the exact words, told me she still needs my help and that she’s realizing she doesn’t know it all. I’m grateful to be needed, to be a soft hug and to give the illusion that I am all powerful.

May we all feel the love that is unique in Mothering and give ourselves a little mothering self-care this weekend and throughout the coming year.

 

– Stephanie Abrams

Return to List